How Has Barack Obama Disappointed YOU in 2013? - Outrage From A Parallel Reality

On Wednesday, NPR's Liz Halloran told us how Barack Obama has disappointed liberals in 2013, how this was the year of disappointing the liberal base. Immediately, her comment section filled with Lefties panting and falling over themselves to declare how correct she is. And really, when hasn't he, if you ask whoever this ever illusive "liberal base" is. So disappointing. How disappointing has Obama been to his liberal base? Oh, let me count the ways.

Firstly, like Holloran says, Syria! Such a disappointment. What liberal could possibly like the fact that a liberal president has not only put in a place to disarm a dangerous regime in the middle of a civil war completely of its chemical weapons, but has seen the process through as it reaches its final stages? And even more outrageously, what kind of liberal could possibly stand the fact that this black dude did this without lodging so much as a water balloon at the Syrians?

You'd think Obama would be happy pissing off liberals by doing this in just one middle-eastern country. But oh, no. He's now trying to pull the same stunt in Iran. And it looks like he and his Secretary of State and noted antiliberal frenchman John Kerry are trying for a middle-east peace deal. Can you feel the outrage in your liberal bones? Well, can you?

But hey, why stop at the middle east? There are so many other ways Barack Obama has disappointed liberals this year.

2013 was the year the Obama administration did outrageously unliberal things like argue in the Supreme Court that the Defense of Marriage Act should be thrown out. Offending liberal sensibilities even more, after the Supreme Court's decision to strike down DOMA, Obama has implemented that decision by doing horrible things like making equal treatment of same sex military spouses a reality and giving same-sex married couples the same responsibilities and benefits under federal tax law and social security benefits as any other married couple. Don't even get me started on how disappointing that is to liberals.

If the disappointment was just gay, that would be one thing. But you guessed it. Obama isn't happy disappointing liberals just by giving full equality to teh gays. Putting his administration's very counterliberal infatuation over voting rights on display, the Obama Justice Department - this year - has sued Texas and North Carolina over their modern day poll tax laws, after the Supreme Court invalidated the pre-clearance portion of the Voting Rights Act.

Why is Obama doing this? There is only one explanation: to disappoint liberals!

Speaking of this totally disappointing Justice Department under this aghastly disappointing president, around the same time they were going around suing superliberal states like Texas and North Carolina, they also announced a policy of not seeking mandatory minimum sentences for low-level nonviolent drug crimes. This is yet another slap in the face of liberals, since everyone knows how much liberals love to lock people up for life for nonviolent drug offenses!

In relevant news about drug offenses and rubbing liberals' noses in disappointing glitter, the same Justice Department also wouldn't sue Colorado and Washington state for legalizing pot. Oh, let me tell you. Every ounce of my liberal being is just outraged with disappointment. WTF, Obama?

Don't even get me started on this colossal clusterf*ck of an anathema to liberalism - this concept that everyone should have access to affordable health care. What liberal thought of that? Not only has the launch of the website totally ruined everything for everyone's healthcare forever and ever and ever into eternity, now that it's roaring back, the very unliberal thing is happening: people are signing up by the millions for affordable health care in marketplaces and with a massive expansion of a program named Medicaid that liberals can't stand at all.

And what's with unliberal junk he keeps spewing at rallies across the country about raising the minimum wage and pegging it to inflation?

Bloodless disarming of dangerous regimes from weapons of mass destruction. Implementing full equality for same-sex married couples under federal law. Standing up for voting rights. Refusing to jail people forever for smoking pot. Delivering on health care. Advocating for a living wage. Disappointed yet?

But wait, there are some good parts I left out. Say it with me now...

DRONES!!! Did I make that clear? DRONES!!!!! The president has been terribly disappointing to "his liberal base" with his drone use. I mean, this has to be the case, since only 65% of all Americans, including 60% of Democrats, support the president's policy on drones, and since that support has held remarkably steady. I mean so what if that majority support has been affirmed by two different polling organizations, it just feels like liberals hate the president for using drones. And as Stephen Colbert says, if you feel it in your guts, it must be true. Disregard all other evidence.

And don't forget....

NSA-GATE!!!!! I know, I know. That deserves a few more exclamation point. But you can never put enough exclamation points on NSA-GATE!!! - so why bother trying? I mean, really. You know how outrageous liberals consider it for the government to conduct perfectly legal, court-sanctioned domestic surveillance. I am sure that liberal disdain for surveillance is the reason Jimmy Carter signed original Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, creating the FISA court and keeping its orders secret. The liberal disdain against legal surveillance must also explain the Yea votes of people like Barbara Boxer, Kirsten Gillibrand and John Kerry on the renewal of the PATRIOT Act provisions enabling NSA's surveillance. The disappointment!

What other reason possibly could be there that Edward Snowden turns out to be an ultra-right wing nutbag trolling and hustling the media-Lefties?

But hey. Remember, gut feelings. Liberals in the media yelling. Others in the media pointing to their own bubble as proof. Truthiness wins the day.

I implore you, liberals. Stick to your gut feelings. Stick to truthiness. Even if a preponderance of the evidence points to 2013 being a remarkably liberal year for President Obama and his administration, stick your head in the sand and yell about the NSA and drones. You don't need evidence, facts, or data. All you need is a conservative columnist yanking your chain so you can lose your sh*t.

And I ask you, my fellow liberals, how has Barack Obama disappointed you this year?

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