I Hereby Resign

I Hereby Resign

To Whom It May Concern:

I, GL108403, write today to officially resign my post as Storm Trooper Of The First Order.

It is not a decision I make lightly. From being ripped away from my parents shortly after my birth, the life of a Storm Trooper is all I have known. I have grown up in and around the Empire and my file tells me that my very first words were “Lord Vader”. I have served the Empire through thick and thin from some of the earliest battles wiping out the indigenous populations on Naboo to widespread infanticide on Coruscant to running scout missions for the eventual Alderaan genocide, I have done everything that has been asked of me. I have seen the power of the Dark Side in action and have seen amazing things that can be accomplished when an entire fleet of evildoers work together toward removing any and all dissent in the galaxy. It was this vision that kept me going all these years.

Unfortunately, this vision is no longer shared by our current leader, Kylo Ren. Over the last few months, Ren has systematically become more and more aggressive in his actions and tactics. He has destroyed Imperial Star Destroyer electronic equipment multiple times in unhinged fits of rage. He has murdered his own Imperial Guards. And he has become obsessed with Luke Skywalker, essentially diverting the entire First Order away from its stated mission of galaxy-wide domination to focus on one Jedi hermit, who, until recently, wasn’t even part of what has come to be known as the Resistance.

Seeing Ren shift away from our original mission has been extremely difficult for me to witness. Like my fellow Storm Troopers, I came to internalize the original mission and vision of Darth Vader to conquer the galaxy. By creating the Death Star and beginning a campaign of planetary genocide, I felt we were well on our way to accomplishing this goal. When Ren installed Starkiller Base and used its weapon to again return to our planetary genocidal roots, I was as happy as I had been since seeing the rebels flee from Hoth so many moons ago. But something in Ren changed. I don’t know if it was him mind-melding with the random girl for Jakku or what, but all of a sudden Ren became monomaniacal in shifting the focus of the First Order away from planetary domination toward finding and capturing Luke Skywalker. As someone who lives for widespread genocide, seeing us focus on one seemingly insignificant individual was simply too much for me to take.

And so, I choose to hereby resign. I realize my record as a Storm Trooper of the First Order might seem like a tough sell in today’s intergalactic job market. But I also know that my taking a stance today shows my commitment to the greater good. Sure, I could have resigned after my first battle where we mutilated an entire village during our very first training exercise. Or after Naboo, or Coruscant, or Alderaan. Or after Starkiller Base wiped out an entire star system of Alliance-backed planets. But, no. I choose today as my line in the sand as I can no longer abide by a boss in Kylo Ren who is becoming seemingly more and more unhinged. In order to do mass murder and corruption right, you need to have steady leadership at the top. We don’t have that with Kylo Ren and because of that I no longer feel confident in our ability to successfully take over the galaxy. I wish it were different, but in my blackened heart, I know that I cannot serve someone as unsteady and demanding as Kylo Ren.

Regretfully yours,

GL108403



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It just gets more ridiculous

It just gets more ridiculous

Another evil wretch departs the regime

Another evil wretch departs the regime