Breaking: Palin deprives America of millions of hours of political entertainment


Folks, something monumental just happened. I don't know how I'm going to go on. In devastating news for political comedians, Sarah Palin has decided not to run for president. We will be deprived of millions of hours of political comedy.
After much prayer and serious consideration, I have decided that I will not be seeking the 2012 GOP nomination for President of the United States. As always, my family comes first and obviously Todd and I put great consideration into family life before making this decision. When we serve, we devote ourselves to God, family and country. My decision maintains this order.
That's right folks, God told Sarah not to run. God must be on Barack Obama's side!

But no, she's not going to be going away, either. She will still be everyone's least favorite "Drill baby, drill" queen:
I will continue driving the discussion for freedom and free markets, including in the race for President where our candidates must embrace immediate action toward energy independence through domestic resource developments of conventional energy sources, along with renewables. We must reduce tax burdens and onerous regulations that kill American industry, and our candidates must always push to minimize government to strengthen the economy and allow the private sector to create jobs.
Apparently, she is going to continue doing this:

Palin Targeted Giffords

In all seriousness, this is why Barack Obama is going to win in 2012. That the Republican field sucks so much that they are still looking for candidates speaks volumes. They have third rate candidates running, and even the ones they are chasing around are third rate. That Sarah Palin isn't running is news (and not, 'thank the good lord she's not running' kind of news) tells you all you need to know.

In the mean time, the President is invading Rick Perry's backyard in Dallas, TX to push for the American Jobs Act.



Oh, it's on. Bring. It. On.