A litany against darkness

A litany against darkness

As they say: I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I know it’s affecting me. The past two days I’ve been in a pit of anxiety. This regime’s horrors are finally overflowing my banks. I’ve had to withdraw from Twitter to keep any amount of sanity before the big push for next Tuesday. I’m becoming as toxic as those against whom I rail.

These are the darkest times this country has faced in decades, and they are self-inflicted. Through indifference, a fascist was installed in the White House. And he becomes ever-more unhinged by the day, as do his cultists.

So how do we cope?

We have to cleave to our hearts those things which give us joy. They are a litany against the darkness. They are that light which illuminates the inky black. If all we focus on is the abyss, it will soon devour us.

We all find joy in different things. I find joy in people.

I love my wife. Those are words I never thought I’d say. I was going to remain a bachelor, hopping from woman to woman, maintaining my totemic freedom. And then I met this woman, and it was hard at first. I had to break down a lot of barriers in myself. We almost didn’t make it. But then something clicked. I can’t explain it. The love I had been holding back suddenly burst out. I discovered I was a better man with her than without her. I discovered that the type of “freedom” I’d always so prized was an illusion. I discovered that loving and caring for another human being made you stronger, not weaker and shackled. She is my joy, and without her at my side these dark times would be that much darker.

I love my friends and my family. They give me the support I need to be myself, to try new things, to fail and to succeed, in the knowledge they’ll be there for me. This web of love sustains me in a time that without it I would be lost.

And, dammit, I love all of you. The work I do on this blog is hard. It’s tiring. Sometimes it’s shouting into the wind. But this community we’ve built means something to me. If all I had was Twitter and its invective and toxicity, I would probably not be engaged politically. As I’ve been discovering the past couple of days, Twitter is where your soul goes to die. This community here is where I draw sustenance, among like-minded people who are traveling the same path. The work I do here may help you, but it helps me ten-fold.

So those are my litanies against the darkness. What are yours?



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