The Question Nobody is Asking About Obama's Totally Suspicious Timing (TM) of Benghazi Terrorist Capture

That Obamar's goddang done it now! Our country-defending, awesome-sauce, chest-thumping, gun-touting Republicans have responded to US military's heroic capture of a terrorist involved in the Benghazi consulate in Libya in 2012. Or should I say to the TOTALLY SUSPICIOUS TIMING (TM) of Obama killing or capturing terrists. No, thats how your suposed to spel it, morans!

Our very own RationalLeft has captured their essence:

GOP response in brief: Obama is using Benghazi to distract attention from #Benghazi!

Leading off for the conservative patriots' team, The World's Angriest Attack Dog (TM - Stephanie Miller) lashed out at the Administration's decision to try militia leader Ahmed abu Khattalah in an American criminal court, demanding that abu Khattalah be thrown in Gitmo. Lindsay Graham super-duper agreed with ihs boyfriend, joining voices with such luminaries as Ted Cruz and Thirsty Rubio.

After all, what does America have to gain from giving our most vicious enemies fair, swift trials under the rule of law?

But John McCain only lead off the revolt (or should I say REVOLUTION!) against this Totally Suspicious Timing (TM). Wonkette gives us an awesome picture of the Republican fit over yet another Obama success story in the fight against terrorists. Among our conservative creme-de-la-creme heavy hitters are Joe "Deadbeat" Walsh and known hothead Allen "Conduct Unbecoming" West.

Screenshot by Wonkette.

Screenshot by Wonkette.

Screenshot by Wonkette.

Screenshot by Wonkette.

If you ask me, our venerable conservatives are missing the real problem with the military's timing. The real question is, why is Obama releasing terrorist catching news in what is supposed to be his gay week?!?!?!?

Tun-tun-tunnnnnn.

I mean, it has been widely reported that the secretly gay-married Kenyan Muslim black power community organizer Barack Hussain(!!!!) Obama is going to sign an executive order (COMMUNIST!) this week making it illegal for federal contractors to fire the gay for general ickiness of homo sex! And just as soon as that happens, the military catches this terrorist. The same military that has been totally gay-i-fied by Barack Hussain(!!!!) Obama after he repealed Don't Ask Don't Tell.

Oh, and everybody knows all terrorists are dark, Muslim, and gay. Just like OBAMA!

Tell me this isn't the biggest news in the Totally Suspicious Timing of terrorist captures. TELL ME! You know what else is even more suspicious? After Obama gave the green light to the operation that took out bin Laden in 2011, almost exactly one year after announcing bin Laden's death, Obama declared his support for gay marriage!!!! Bin Laden death announcement: May 2, 2011. Obama's big gay declaration: May 9, 2012. LOOK IT UP!!!!!!

(If you haven't noticed, the sky has been collapsing ever since.)

DO I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION YET? Huh? Well, do I? Are you with me? I say President Obama MUST explain this seriously mysterious timeline connections between him catching terrorists and advancing the HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA (doing both in one of the 12 months of the calendar, for example). If he does not answer me NOW, I swear I will go to the White House and wave around a yellow flag with what looks like a shit pile drawn on it!